It's never too late.

It's high time I talked about dance. I mention it all the time, but I've never really sat down and hashed it out in written form. So here goes.

All through elementary school, junior high, and high school I was envious of those girls who, around late May, would come to school for three days straight with gigantic pink rollers in their hair. They were the Larkin kids, and the end of the school year brought their dance recital. (Larkin is a local studio that always sweeps every competition they attend; they're hardcore.) They looked funny, but few people laughed because they were dancers, and that meant they did something that the rest of us couldn't do. I was envious, but dance class was not in the budget, and I never verbally expressed the desire to go. By the time I really wanted to get into class, I thought it was too late.

When I got to college I realized that it's never too late. I took a jazz class all of my sophomore year, and my teacher hadn't started dancing until college. It was heartening to know that beginning dancers could have a life after age 18. That class taught me a lot about vocabulary and positioning. I'd been performing in shows for several years and I have a natural grace that allows me to fake it even if I'm doing it wrong, but I needed everything that Carol taught us. I also realized just how far I had to go. I also realized how infuriating dance could be. No matter how good you got there was always something else to learn. I got a "B" in that class both semesters.

I didn't take formal classes again until I had graduated from college. Those classes were Monday nights and my attendance was sporadic. Jon gave me an introduction to various musical theatre styles and brought acting to my dancing. My pirouettes still sucked, but he gave me a foundation to build on. I took tap there the next session, but shortly thereafter Lundstrum lost that space and all of their adult classes.

I took a small hiatus to work on a summer show, then started attending classes at Zenon. Zenon has a work/study program that allows students to work off their classes by helping at the front desk. I have the early shift on Saturday mornings - 7:30 - 11:30am - and I check students in and take money. I am also a scholarship student, which means that I can take an unlimited number of classes throughout the session, with a required minimum of four. My first session with Zenon (fall of 2004) I took two to three classes per week: jazz, hip hop, and afro modern. My confidence as a dancer grew each week, and even though I still couldn't turn or balance worth crap, I was dancing and I was happy. I decided to audition for the scholarship program in December. I hoped to get into the Block E performing group and work with a choreographer for the session and present a piece at the end, but I got into the Intensive Study Program. It was disappointing, but better than nothing.

In January of 2005 I started taking ballet on Thursday and Saturday, afro modern on Thursday nights, jazz on Wednesday, and tap on Monday (and Saturday when I could make it). Rather than only getting to work on my technique one or two nights a week, I was getting to class every other day and my abilities jumped up several notches over the course of 20 weeks. My pirouettes still sucked, but I was definitely getting stronger, my pick up (ability to absorb choreography quickly) was getting better, and my understanding of how the different parts of the body worked together was growing.

I performed with two of my classes in the spring scholarship show, then took the summer off to do summer stock theatre. I was worried that two months off with no class whatsoever would leave me right back where I started nine months before, but when I came back I had had a chance to relax and not think about technique, and hence when I came back my technique was better. I hadn't forgotten anything. I was out of shape, but I hadn't forgotten anything.

Now I'm going on my second year with Zenon and less than a full year of ballet. I take four ballet classes per week when I can (one of those is advanced and one is intermediate), one advanced modern class (which I felt was crazy when I first started because I'd had almost no modern before it), and tap when my knees allow it. My pirouettes have finally stopped sucking so much. They're not perfect, but just this weekend (after weeks of a frustrating lack of balance) something clicked and I started turning out doubles. It makes me grin just thinking about it. I still get lost in combinations sometimes and have no idea where I'm supposed to be or what my body is supposed to be doing, but I'm tougher mentally than I've ever been, my body is stronger, and now I know when something feels wrong. I don't always know how to fix it, but I can look at myself and I can look at others and see what I and they need to fix. It's a great feeling.

What's next is finishing out this session strong, taking as many classes as I can, then a forced break. My school show schedule gets a whole lot busier in January and February, so a lot of my morning classes are out. I also don't know if I could take evening classes, and if I do, I have to wear my phone so I can hear it should they call me in. I feel a sense of panic when I think about not being able to take as many classes as I am right now for two whole months, but I have to tell myself I did it this summer and it will be ok.

I'm addicted. Dance makes me crazy sometimes, as most addictions do, but I keep going back. I may never get a chance to perform professionally as a dancer, but that hardly matters. I can't wait until I'm 85 and still doing pirouettes.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Think of at least one thing you're thankful for, and I bet you'll think of twenty.

Waaaaaaaah!

I just got my first speeding ticket. Ever. I didn't cry. I almost cried. But I couldn't help thinking back to a few weeks ago, traveling with Echoes, and how Diana got pulled over, feigned female stupidity and got off with a warning, and how that doesn't work when you're darker than a paper bag.

So I think I have to pay $128. I say I think because I don't really get the fine schedule insert. There's a list, and at the top of the list it says "Basic Speed" and next to it is "$128." Next on the list is "1 - 10 miles over" and that is "$118", then "11 - 15" (which is my category - 63 in a 55) and that's listed as "$128." So do I have to pay the basic speeding charge and then how much I was over on top of that? I'm confused. And sad. And my dad's gonna be mad because my insurance will go up.

*sigh*

Tapped

Saw my friend Christiana in A Raisin in the Sun last night. She was really good. You should go see it.

I don't really have anything else to say.

Stupid Dog

My alarm clock stopped going off after I snoozed it a few times this morning. Hence, I woke up just barely too late to get to ballet on time. I'm very annoyed, because I couldn't go last Monday, and I can't go next Monday. And come winter I won't really be able to go to class at all. That thought causes me panic. I want to snap up as many dance classes as I can now before I can't go. So there was some groaning and pouting this morning when I realized I'd missed the last train I could take and not be hideously late. Then I relaxed and realized it wasn't the end of the world, even though it made me really unhappy.

The neighbor is watching the most annoying dog in the world. Yesterday morning he howled until she brought him inside. Today he howled until she brought him inside. Now he's alternating barking and howling. I'm assuming it's because she's gone and he's locked in his kennel. I think I'm going to leave a note. I'm not sure there's anything she can do about it (leave music or the television on, give him a stuffed animal to tear up and work off some anxiety, muzzle him?) but she should know.

Audition this afternoon. For a high school/college student. Ha!

I am not a homeowner.

Today could be the last warm day in the Twin Cities until mid-May. I am going to do some winterizing this afternoon after my audition. The storm windows that I switched with screens when I moved in need to be replaced, and after listening to MPR this morning I'm going to try this Quick Caulk stuff around the windows (as opposed to shrink-wrapping them with the plastic and the blow dryer and what not). I am responsible for heating my apartment so I want to make it as cheap as possible for myself. I will not, however, go so far as to have the furnace inspected. That is not my job. Nor will I clean the gutters. If I wanted to get that in depth I would buy the place, and it's much too expensive for that at the moment.

I do resent, a little, the implication that if we - my neighbor and I - want any kind of home maintenance done around here that we have to do it ourselves. If I wanted to rake leaves and shovel driveways I would have bought my own home. I replaced the screen door closer on the back because it was broken and the "click...click...BANG" action it had was driving me batty. I had to replace fuses because half the lights in my house wouldn't turn on. I think my neighbor is replacing the furnace on her side. Ok, so not her responsibility. But maybe she's been taking care of the place on her own for so long that the caretaker has gotten used to it.

Well, there's a showing apparently in 45 minutes, so I should get off the computer and go away. The place is a mess, but they can deal because they just called now when I'm supposed to have 24 hours notice. Maybe the looky-loos will be turned off because of the mess. Heh.

Tippity type

Did I mention that I got a typewriter for free? I did. I got a typewriter for free. And I am in love with it. It's missing a paper advancing knob and sometimes the ink ribbon only hits the top half of the letter, but I don't care. I've wanted a typewriter for years, and now I have one. The sound of a typewriter is romantic and productive. I feel like I'm actually doing something when the keys clack. Mmmmm...typewriter...

I'm writing my novel on my typewriter. (Yes, I'll have to re-type it to email it in for word count verification if I get to 50,000 words, but whatever.) It inspires me to keep going, just so I can hear the sound of the keys. Um, so far I have a page and a half. Hopefully that will change in the next few weeks. The typewriter will spur me on!

I lugged my typewriter to the coffee shop across the street today. People kind of looked at me funny for plunking its bulk on the table and pounding away at the noisy keys when everyone else had their slim little quiet-keyed laptops. I didn't care. My typewriter didn't have the distraction of the internet or IM to keep me from writing. My typewriter has one purpose, and that was for the creation of a story. It doesn't try to be all things to all people. Take that, skinny laptop punks.

Now my typewriter is on the table. It's waiting for me to start writing again. It's plugged in and everything. And here I am on the computer. It's ok with that, though. Necessary evils, it says to itself. The typewriter is patient.

Finished Eragon. Now I need a new book.

We opened The Tempest on Saturday. And that's why I was gone all week. Tech week is rougher on the stage manager than anyone else in the cast. I was getting about five to six hours of sleep a night the whole week. It sucked. But now we're open, and I can breathe again. And wash my clothes. And dishes. And clean my house. And return phone calls. And be a human again.

My neighbor has an adorable shih tzu puppy that she will soon be selling. I had to have my father lay out all the reasons why I should not buy this puppy in order to convince myself. She's adorable, so it's hard to tell myself no. But it would not be fiscally responsible to take on another living creature that would only generate debt. She's so cute, though...

Anyway. Now that the show is open I'm looking to the next project. But there isn't one until January. Yes, there will be rehearsal for Harriet Tubman in December, but I don't count that as it just feels like a continuation of the same thing I've been doing for three years. So I get a break. It'll be nice, because I've been going from one show to the next since June and I'm a little tired. Being busy is good for me, but so is being easy on my mind and body. Yay break!

Now it's time to shower and eat. And maybe take a nap. Yes, those things sound lovely.